Everyone has a peculiar personality that makes them unique. However, when a personality leads someone to hurt or want to hurt others, they’re said to have a personality disorder.
Narcissism is a personality disorder where someone is very entitled, thinks very highly of themselves, and has an extreme desire to be liked and admired. For severe cases that affect quality of life (less than 1%), narcissistic personality disorder is classified as a mental illness.
According to Barend’s Psychology, Narcissism is more common among men than women. There’s nothing innately wrong with wanting to be admired; how, then, can you tell someone is a narcissist and not just in need of some love and appreciation?
1. Charming First Impressions
Narcissists have a disarming charm and charisma, especially when you first meet them. They are exceptionally polite, drawing people in with their confidence. While it’s appropriate to be polite and endearing, their polite demeanor seems exaggerated and too good to be true.
2. Unrealistic Self-Image
We all must have some self-confidence and a positive outlook about ourselves. However, a narcissistic individual will have a bloated and often unrealistic view of their abilities, achievements, or importance.
In their eyes, no one comes close, and those who do become enemies.
3. Lack of Empathy
Narcissists struggle to empathize with the feelings and needs of others, and their concerns and feelings are the priority. If an individual constantly belittles your experiences and thinks their attention is direr and in need of more attention, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
4. Constant Need for Admiration
Have you met a person who thrives on [and often demands] extreme admiration? Such people take offense when they’re not put on a pedestal and demand almost deistic praise from others. This is a common trait for narcissists, WebMD notes. They are always fishing for compliments.
5. Manipulative Tactics
Narcissists will manipulate their victims to near insanity and use their influence over others to meet their own needs.
Most narcissists are master planners of guilt trips to control-land.
6. Frequent Lies and Exaggerations
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will often exaggerate their achievements or fabricate stories to enhance their image. Every achievement has to be outstanding, and they are self-proclaimed champions of everything they put their hands to.
7. Grandiosity
While we’re all special in our ways, narcissists have a sense of grandiosity where they believe they are exceptional and should only associate with high-status individuals.
You will often see them belittle others who they deem below their social class and elevate the ones they regard highly.
8. Envy and Jealousy
This is one of the most reported traits among narcissists, where they feel envy towards others and believe that others are envious of them.
Most narcissists see every person better than them as competition and may make life miserable for their loved ones because of it. If you see a spouse unwilling to celebrate their better half’s achievement, they may be narcissistic.
9. Boundary Violations
Personal boundary lines are blurry or non-existent to narcissists. They find it difficult to respect others and often intrude on others’ privacy without hesitation.
10. Difficulty Handling Criticism
While they’re quick to criticize and put others down, narcissists react strongly to criticism, often becoming defensive, dismissive, or even hostile when criticized.
They may adopt a “you’re jealous of me” attitude when criticized, or think someone is out to get them, hence the hostility.
11. Attention-Seeking
When it comes to seeking attention, narcissists are like children, if not worse. They have a constant need for attention and may engage in attention-seeking behaviors to fulfill this desire.
They may often throw mini-tantrums to get attention, such as the silent treatment or attempting to hurt themselves.
12. Shallow Relationships
Because they’re generally self-centered, it’s challenging for them to maintain deep and meaningful relationships. Most of their relationships end quickly and over flimsy reasons, many of them circling back to how bad the other person was.
13. Superficial Charm
Although they use their charm to make friendships in the initial stages, this charm eventually is revealed for what it is—superficial and insincere. This may result in them unraveling the charm when it no longer serves their interests.
A person who was once always available and generous may suddenly become elusive or even abusive.
14. Exploitative Behavior
Most narcissists will exploit others without hesitation to achieve their goals. Everyone is a means to an end for them, and your presence in their lives must be because of what they can get from you.
When they can no longer exploit you, most will leave or become hostile.
15. Lack of Accountability
Taking responsibility for their mistakes is difficult for narcissists; they often deflect blame onto others. A narcissist will be caught red-handed doing the wrong thing, and it will still not be their fault—you erred by catching them.
16. Impulsivity
While most adults can control their impulses and hold themselves back, some narcissists cannot. They are driven by a desire for immediate gratification and will do anything to fulfill it, even if it means hurting others physically, emotionally, or even financially.
17. Illusions of Infinite Success
Daydreaming about unlimited success, power, or beauty is a common trait. They’re always on their way to achieving the next big thing, even if the reality on the ground says otherwise.
18. Fragmented Self-Esteem
Underneath the outward over-confidence, some narcissists have fragile self-esteem and can be easily wounded. You can barely hold an honest conversation on issues because they often feel like it’s a personal attack.
19. Arrogance
Narcissists will display arrogance and a haughty demeanor and create a sense of superiority over others. They will insist on having the best of everything at the expense of others and won’t care who they hurt to get it.
20. Bad at Conversations
You can’t have a meaningful conversation with someone suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They will always want to have a monopoly over the conversation and not allow the other party to contribute or air concerns.
Narcissistic behavior makes relationships difficult and is one of the most common causes of breakups. Psycom recommends using a calm tone, insisting on your boundaries, and not indulging a narcissistic person by ignoring them as a way to communicate with them.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
