Parenting doesn’t come with an expiration date. Even when kids become adults, it’s natural to want to help. But sometimes, stepping back and letting them navigate their own finances is the best support you can give. While every family is different, there are certain things parents might want to reconsider paying for once their kids reach adulthood, even if they have the means to do so.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about cutting off your adult children or being ungenerous. It’s about setting boundaries that foster independence and ultimately create a stronger foundation for their long-term financial well-being. Drawing these lines can be complex, but it empowers your child to build essential life skills like resourcefulness and responsibility.
Ready to set your adult kids up for success? Here’s a look at 16 expenses you might want to stop covering – and why it could be the best decision for everyone involved.
1. Cell Phone Bills
Cutting the cord on the family phone plan is a classic rite of passage. Cell phones are fundamental tools in today’s world, but making your adult child responsible for this expense teaches them how to budget for a recurring necessity. It’s also an opportunity to shop around and find the plan that works best for their needs and wallet.
Start by having a conversation. Explain that continued financial support makes sense while they’re in school but shifting this expense onto their shoulders is an important step toward independence. Help them research plans and understand features like data limits to avoid overage charges. Many providers offer prepaid options or family bundles that might make the transition smoother.
2. Rent or Housing Costs
While it’s tempting to ease the financial burden of rent, covering this major expense can create an unhealthy dependence. If they know rent is taken care of, there’s less incentive to earn, save, and budget effectively.
Providing housing support might be necessary in some situations, but consider having a clear timeline, repayment plan, or expectations in exchange for the assistance, making it a hand up rather than a handout. By helping your adult child learn to manage housing costs, you set them up for more financial stability in the long run.
3. Car Payments and Expenses
A car is often essential, but it’s a significant financial responsibility. If young adults don’t learn to manage payments, insurance, and maintenance costs, they miss a critical lesson in financial planning. Helping with a down payment or co-signing on a reasonable auto loan can provide support without shielding them entirely from the financial realities of owning a car.
Transportation is the second-largest household expense after housing costs in the US, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. It’s a great opportunity to discuss realistic options, public transportation alternatives, and the importance of factoring in car-related expenses when making major choices like where to live.
4. Subscriptions and Streaming Services
The monthly cost of those streaming subscriptions adds up fast. Letting adult children pay for their own entertainment choices encourages them to be more mindful of spending and fosters financial awareness around small, recurring expenses. It also forces them to prioritize which services are truly worth it. Maybe they’ll even discover the joys (and savings) of the public library!
Have your adult child list out every single subscription they have. Chances are, they might be surprised by the total. Discuss options for cutting back, sharing accounts with friends, or seeking out no-cost alternatives. Many libraries offer ebooks, streaming movies, and music for free!
5. Groceries (Beyond Occasional Treats)
Regularly paying for an adult child’s groceries removes the need to budget for food, a basic life skill. It’s one thing to pick up a few treats during a visit, or help out occasionally in a pinch. But constantly covering a full fridge is very different. Encourage them to create meal plans, utilize coupons, and learn how to make their food budget stretch.
A recent study found that, on average, young adults spend about a third of their grocery budget on prepared foods and restaurant meals. Those convenience options add up! Help them explore simple, affordable recipes and meal prepping strategies to save money and build healthier eating habits.
6. Travel and Vacations
It’s lovely to treat the family to a vacation, but there’s a difference between special trips and subsidizing an adult child’s lifestyle. Paying for leisure travel removes the necessity for them to prioritize saving or adjusting their budget to accommodate these experiences. Encouraging them to fund their own adventures fosters a sense of accomplishment and financial savvy.
If they have their sights set on a dream trip, encourage them to start a travel fund! Help them break down the costs and create a realistic savings plan. Many travel blogs and websites offer resources on budget travel options, off-season deals, and ways to stretch their travel dollars further.
7. “Nice to Have” Extras (Eating Out, Concerts, etc.)
Budgeting is all about making choices. Constantly footing the bill for dinners out, concerts, or other fun non-essentials makes this process much harder. It can create a sense of entitlement where there should be an appreciation for the ability to occasionally enjoy these activities with their own earned income.
Suggest setting aside a designated “fun money” amount each month. This helps to balance enjoying life while still having boundaries. Brainstorm free or low-cost alternatives together – picnics, game nights with friends, checking out local festivals, etc.
8. Credit Card Debt
Bailing out adult children from credit card debt can lead to a dangerous cycle. While emergencies happen, repeatedly clearing their debt doesn’t teach anything about responsible spending or the repercussions of mismanaging credit. Instead, offer to help them create a repayment plan and explore credit counseling resources if needed.
The average American household carries over $6000 in credit card debt. Helping your adult child avoid falling into this trap is a huge gift. If they do find themselves struggling, resist the urge to rescue. A difficult lesson now can prevent far bigger financial troubles in the future.
9. Gym Memberships and Fitness Classes
While prioritizing wellness is always a good call, making these expenses their own responsibility encourages them to make the most of the services they’re paying for. It also opens opportunities to explore lower-cost options like outdoor exercise, free workout videos online, or more affordable gym alternatives.
Suggest a “trial period” where they explore different workout options. Many gyms offer free passes or week-long memberships. Help them find enjoyable ways to exercise that fit their budget, whether it’s walking, running, bodyweight workouts, or joining a community sports team.
10. Clothing
There’s a difference between helping your child get warm winter clothes or work-appropriate attire, and paying for regular shopping sprees. Clothing can be expensive, and learning to prioritize necessities or shop within a budget is key. Thrift stores, secondhand marketplaces, and off-price retailers are all great ways to build a stylish wardrobe without breaking the bank.
The fast fashion industry has a massive environmental impact and fuels harmful consumption habits. Teaching your adult child to be more mindful about clothing purchases benefits both their wallet and the planet.
11. Personal Care and Grooming Products (High-End Makeup, Salon Visits, etc.)
While looking and feeling good is important, regularly funding high-end beauty products or salon treatments can become a slippery slope! Help your adult child prioritize self-care within a reasonable budget. Drugstores offer fantastic alternatives to expensive brands, and a little online research can go a long way in finding DIY beauty hacks and at-home haircare tips.
Suggest experimenting with at-home beauty routines – homemade face masks, DIY hair treatments, etc. Explore YouTube tutorials for learning basic styling techniques (braids, updos, etc.). Introduce your adult child to the world of “dupes,” where they can find affordable alternatives to cult-favorite beauty products.
12. Expensive Hobbies
From fancy photography gear to art supplies and beyond, hobbies can get expensive! While encouraging passions is wonderful, constantly footing the bill can prevent your adult child from truly understanding the value of these pursuits. Suggest ways to fund their hobbies without relying solely on parental support.
Costly hobbies can teach valuable lessons in resourcefulness. Whether it’s finding creative ways to save, exploring second-hand equipment, or even seeking out ways to monetize their passion, your adult child can gain much more from the experience when they have some skin in the game.
13. Pet Expenses
Pets bring endless joy, but they’re also a financial responsibility. While assisting with unexpected vet bills occasionally might be needed, making a habit of covering food, toys, and regular care removes important lessons about commitment and budgeting.
The ASPCA estimates the first-year cost of owning a dog at over $1000, and around $500 for a cat. These recurring costs can be a substantial burden. If your adult child is passionate about a pet, helping them understand the full financial picture beforehand is crucial.
14. Impulsive Purchases
We all make the occasional impulse buys, but if those shopping sprees are frequent and rely on parental bailouts, it’s definitely time to have a conversation. Teach the importance of mindful spending and help them develop strategies to curb those impulses.
Encourage your adult child to implement a “cooling off” period before big purchases. Having them wait 24 hours or even a week can help separate true needs from wants. Suggest they research potential purchases to find the best price or even explore gently-used options. Sometimes, the thrill of the hunt is just as satisfying as actually buying something brand new.
15. Overdraft Fees
Those pesky overdraft fees add up surprisingly fast! While offering to cover them once or twice might be understandable, it’s important for your adult child to learn how to effectively manage their bank accounts to avoid costly mistakes.
Review their bank statement together to identify patterns causing overdrafts. Discuss different overdraft protection features banks might offer. Help them set up low-balance alerts or automatic transfers from savings to avoid future fees.
16. Traffic Tickets and Fines
Getting a ticket is an unpleasant experience, but it comes with important lessons about responsibility and the consequences of actions. While tempting, repeatedly paying fines reinforces the mentality that rules don’t always have to be followed. It also removes a major incentive to be a safe and attentive driver.
Traffic tickets aren’t just a financial burden – they can also impact insurance rates and even driving privileges. Allowing your adult child to face these consequences is a powerful learning opportunity for the future.
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With an honors degree in financial engineering, Omega Ukama deeply understands finance. Before pursuing journalism, he honed his skills at a private equity firm, giving him invaluable real-world experience. This combination of financial literacy and journalistic flair allows him to translate complex financial matters into clear and concise insights for his readers.
